Rude Awakening
I went for brunch yesterday with my aunt at a restaurant nearby and encountered the ugly side of human beings. My aunt stood up to walk to the stalls to order some food and some joker took her chair away and put it at his table. This was done while she was still standing next to the chair and asking me what i wanted to eat. At first i thought that he was taking an extra chair, but i found out later that he actually took my aunt's chair. Too bad i didn't know that at the time cause i would certainly have given him a piece of my mind.
Today, i went for breakfast at another restaurant nearby with my aunt and encountered yet another episode of rude behaviour. The restaurant was full so we walked to a big table but was only taken up by an guy and his son thinking that we could share the big table as there was only the two of us and the two of them. My aunt said "excuse me" twice or three times but the guy only looked down at his food and continued eating, totally ignoring us. I dont know about you people but i find that really rude. Some would argue that maybe he's deaf and couldn't hear my aunt. He could be deaf but he certainly wasn't blind. We were standing right opposite him trying to get his attention.
If these two guys were children, the question that would pop up in your mind is "your parents didn't teach you ar?". Maybe their parents really neglected to teach them some courtesy and respect to others. Some kids you see nowadays are really rude. They shout at their parents when things dont go their way. Somehow, their parents think that it's cool and doesn't warrant some sort of reprimand. Maybe it's the new style of parenting, but i believe the old rotan style is much more effective in instilling discipline and good manners into your kids.
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I had Taiwan mee for lunch on Monday and the amount of mee given in the 'small' bowl has really shrunk a lot compared to the last time i ate it. After finishing the bowl of mee, i wasn't even half full. I had to order another 'small' bowl of Taiwan mee to make myself considerably full. To show you how much smaller the portion has become over the years, i could finish my barley drink and a bowl of cendol after the two bowls of Taiwan mee (Cendol was at another place in Jonker Street, and no, it's not the shop in the middle of Jonker Street which has damn thick gula Melaka. It's too sweet for my liking. I found a better place at the beginning of Jonker Street) Maybe in the future, i shall just order a 'big' bowl of Taiwan mee and hope that it would make me at least 1/2 full.
posted by da council @ 8:32 pm
14 Comments:
Hi!What's the "rotan style"? Is it corporal punishment or a special way of teaching?
Thanks!
Rotan means cane in English. Therefore, the "rotan style" means the style of disciplining your kids with the cane when verbal or psychological reprimands fail.
I see. Is it common to punish kids with the cane in Malaysia? I'm a mexican girl and my father used to punish me with the belt (and my mother with the slipper). That's the usual thing in Mexico. I think that a cane must be much more painful. What do you think?
I think it's the same. The whipping effect of the belt is similar to the cane. I don't know if punishment using the belt is common in Malaysia. However, caning is a common punishment in here. I was caned in my childhood days when i misbehaved. Caning was also used as a punishment in schools for students with disciplinary problems but only for the guys.
I still don't have children, but I will probably use the slipper to "help" me with the discipline. I think that the belt is too harsh. My father used to beat me until I left his house (when I was 19 yrs). Mostly because of going out late with friends.
I have a degree in Social Sciences and my end-of-university tesis was about the comparision of children discipline in Mexico and in Spain. What do you think of corporal punishment? What is the usual reason for it in Malaysia? Until what age is it common? Sorry if I bother you with so many questions, but I am interested in understand how it's like in other countries like Malaysia...:-) Thanks!
I think that corporal punishment is necessary because if used correctly, it is a useful tool to act as a deterrent for future misbehaviours. For children, caning has an immediate effect on them when they misbehave, informing them that this is what they'll get if they repeat the same demeanor. Corporal punishment isn't that effective when the child reaches his/her teenage years. Then, grounding and temporary removal of access to things like TV, computers and video games would have a more significant effect on them. However, the above statements only apply to urban Malaysian children and to domestic punishments.
In schools, on the other hand, corporal punishments extends till secondary schools (high school to you). It's used to punish students who were caught stealing, fighting, attacking the teachers etc. Other forms of punishments are not that effective against juvenile delinquents.
And here's another fact. Corporal punishment is still used as a form of punishment in the Malaysian justice system.
I have a doubt...What do you mean when you say that "only apply to urban children"...why shouldn't it be the same for rural children? And you said in one post before that it was only applied to boys. Does it mean then that is not typical to use corporal punishment with girls? I think that is not fair for boys. I saw in your blog that you have sisters...Does it mean then that whenever you and your siblings did something wrong it's just the boy who gets it? (I would have been very happy if I had been spared the belt but I'm afraid than in Mexico if there was a difference it could be that my father used to give me a bit less strokes than to my brother :-( ...)
Grounding and temporary removal of access to things like TV, computers and video games only apply to urban children. That's because rural children dont really get attached to their TVs and they generally do not own any computers or video game consoles. Corporal punishment in schools is only applied to boys. At home however, the cane is used on both boys and girls (true for my home anyway).
I'll be taking a short break for now so i'll answer your further queries (if you have more) in a few days time. Merry Christmas!
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Hi! I was also taking a break for Christmas and I'm back now. First of all Merry Christmas to you also and the Best Wishes for 2007!!!
Going on with the differences between boys and girls...in my case as I said my father used to punish me a bit softer than my brother, but to tell the truth I got belted much more often than him! You know, in Mexico people is very "machist" (don't know how to translate...), and that means that a boy can do what he wants, but a girl is much more controlled, and has to behave like a miss, and cannot go out, etc. Is it the same in Malaysia? How was the punishment comparing for you and your sisters? Was it the same severity and frequency and until you were the same old? And did your father and mother punished you the same way or was it mainly one of them the one responsible for discipline?
I think that the "boys get more freedom to do things they want than girls" concept is quite common everywhere in the world. Society always view girls as the prim and proper ones. No going out late, behave properly, dress properly, etc.
Anyway, for me and my sisters, we all got the same type of punishments. We got caned when we misbehaved badly while minor mischieves will be dealt with severe scoldings. Caning stopped when we were about 11-12 years old but the scoldings is still going on. Hahaha. I didn't get caned much when I was young, mostly scoldings and I don't think the punishments were severe. They were just enough to remind me not to misbehave. And to answer your last question, my mother is the disciplinarian in the house. :)
Hi again! I like this conversation. I'm not very used to know people from a country so different as yours, so I think it's very interesting...
Mmmm...I see that your mother was the disciplinarian...I don't know if that's better or worse...My mother used the slipper instead of the belt (that was less painful), but she was always very "enthusiastic" :-) My father use to tell us to wait in the bedroom and then came in with the belt and he was very "methodic" and self-controlled, but my mother used to hit whenever we misbehaved without waiting a second and she was completely "crazy" when she punished us, just removed her slipper and zas,zas,zas. :-(... so I'm not sure which one I hated more because usually my mum's punishments were really unbearable!!
You say also that you and your sisters had the same type of punishments...mmm...I'm not so sure...I think that being a girl and the older, probably if I was chatting with your older sister instead of you she would tell (at least according to my experience as the older) that she was the one who had to suffer the hardest and most frequent punishments!!...hahaha.
And I agree with what you say of scoldings...parents will aaaalways be parents no matter if we are grandpartens ourselves!!
I'll get my sister to give her views and comments too because it looks like maybe you two have much more in common.
Hahaha...OK, I'll be happy to share experiences with her. Thanks for your thoughts, it's been a pleasure!
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